I'm Not Attached

"Love. Purpose. Those are the things that you can't plan for. Those are the things that just happen. And what if they don't happen? Do you spend your whole life pining for them? Waiting to be happy?” 

I find this really boring at the beginning. But why do I keep reading it until the end? Well, isn’t that there are times in our lives that we find it so boring but we keep up anyway?

photo from somewhere in the internet

I am fond of reading the email exchanges between besties Beth and Jennifer because I am guilty about this and won’t mind if some IT guy is reading them. In this case Lincoln is that IT guy who should be reminding the Courier’s employees about using the company email for personal conversations. But like me, he gets to enjoy reading these girls’ emails, because he found them smart, entertaining and funny.

They talk about their boyfriend and husband, having not and wanting a baby, married life and wanting to get married, a favorite movie, what happened to their weekends, and of course Beth’s Cute Guy.

That cute guy is the nerdy Lincoln. Well, he’s not actually that nerdy. He had just been in a tragic break up with Sam. It made him study longer that it should be, until he decided to come back home to Nebraska and live with her mother. Even though he should be complete having a comfortable life with his mom and having a job, he felt empty most of the time (I am so Lincoln).

So this has been the story is about, the two girls chatting while working and an IT guy is reading their emails. But where or when does the story’s turning point?

For me, it’s when Lincoln learned that Beth had seen her and find him cute. From then, I get ask when will they meet in person and will Beth dump his boyfriend Chris for this cute guy?

In reading more to know what will happen, I get to know Lincoln more. He is a sad man, for some things that happened and is happening in his life. She loved Sam for all his life and she dumped him for another man. He hates reading emails for a job. He felt like he’s being paid to do nothing. But he tries and never gave up upon himself. His family and friends supported him well. Slowly, he transformed and get to immerse from his past.

Beth on the other hand, lives in a fantasy that Chris will marry him. But it didn’t came. One day she had awaken from this dream and turned out that Chris is nightmare who will never marry her, for a stupid reason. But she is a strong and smart woman and survived the chaos from this miserable break up.

Oh before I tell a lot more of the story and spoil it all, let me break it from here. What happened? The ending came quite fast. I mean the whole story was told very long, there are lots of scenes of past and present that has narrated and in a flash – boom, an ending! It’s a happy ending though, but it lost the cheesy mushy “kilig” feeling that was created in your mind in most parts where characters think about each other.

Overall, it’s readable, entertaining, somewhat engaging and feel-good. But it’s not some kind of love story that you would go to say “aaahhw”. It’s not even a very realistic, or maybe I just can’t find it like that. Reality is shown more in the character of Lincoln’s mother. She’s some kind of a very protective mom yet liberal in some ways. For me it lacks intimacy between Lincoln and Beth, it’s very light on that part. And I can’t imagine how it will be interpreted come there will be a movie adaptation. Most of the scenes are email reading. That’s something to think about.

Attachments\ Rainbow Rowell\ 323 pages\ April 2011

Experience Eleanor and Park

Author: Rainbow Rowell

Release: February 2013

In my age now, I am falling for young adult novels, because probably young life is not too complicated as adult relationships. When you love, it’s simply because you love your person. Not because of the standards the world has set for you.

Who would not want love and youth? It is one great feeling and experience you will never forget. This is what this story will take you to, back into those times when love is young and pure.

“I want everyone to meet you. You're my favorite person of all time.” - Park

Park Sheridan is Korean-American young man who is lucky to have happy and cool parents. He tries to fit in where everybody else his age is in (peer pressure), but he remained faithful to his values.

He met red-haired Eleanor Douglas in their school bus. She is weird in the eyes of the world’s so-called normal kids. But Park find her interesting, for unexplained reason.

What are the chances you’d ever meet someone like that? he wondered. Someone you could love forever, someone who would forever love you back? And what did you do when that person was born half a world away? The math seemed impossible.” 
- Park

The two exchanged non-verbal messages in the beginning, with Park provided Eleanor comics and music. No words spoken. The romance between them grows as they exchange breaths that later become words.

But as any young romance would be, there are struggles in the family and in school. The book also notes on teenage drama – broken family, abusive step-dad, poverty, bullying, peer pressure, etc.

“I don't like you, Park," she said, sounding for a second like she actually meant it. "I..." - her voice nearly disappeared - "think I live for you."
He closed his eyes and pressed his head back into his pillow.
"I don't think I even breathe when we're not together," she whispered. "Which means, when I see you on Monday morning, it's been like sixty hours since I've taken a breath. That's probably why I'm so crabby, and why I snap at you. All I do when we're apart is think about you, and all I do when we're together is panic. Because every second feels so important. And because I'm so out of control, I can't help myself. I'm not even mine anymore, I'm yours, and what if you decide that you don't want me? How could you want me like I want you?"
He was quiet. He wanted everything she'd just said to be the last thing he heard. He wanted to fall asleep with 'I want you' in his ears.” 
- Eleanor

Despite all these dramas, the cuteness and authenticity of these two characters shines outstandingly.

Eleanor and Park will remind of your firsts – blushing, palpitations, skin interactions, eye-to-eye contact, breath exchanges, sleepless nights, holding hands and kissing with the one you love.

Wrapping up, entertainment-wise this book is engaging. It will make you smile for some lines and will make you “aaawww”. The story is simple, effortless and so wholesome. I’m not sure if I’ll watch a movie adaptation with Kathniel as lead stars. If you look for a story that will chill you up, then sit with this one and sip your tea or coffee.

Reading Club 2000

"A book should be used and reused.

It has a life, it has a message."

-Nanie Guanlao

In my search of my plan B for this weekend, my browser landed to this interesting page. I searched how to get there and here’s the map:

The Reading Club 2000 is located at 1454 Balagtas Street, Brgy La Paz, Makati City. It is an informal library set-up where books are assembled in side-walk and in a free open space of the house owned by Mang Nanie. In writings online, it was said that reading and borrowing books here is free.

As I arrived there, an old man welcomed me and pointed me to the way where the books are gathered. He was talking to another visitor. The space is little, may be an old garage is where the treasure is to be found. It looks like an old warehouse where everything you touch has dust.

Most of the books are old, though you may find few prints which are almost new. The collection has wide variety of genre. There are novels, health, psychology, accounting, engineering, nursing, encyclopedias, and other references. I also saw Chinese print books. There are also magazines. The books mostly come from donations from people everywhere in the world.

After I picked my choice of books, I got out of the gold mine, and as courtesy I still asked the old man if I could take them with me. Of course the answer is yes, But with condition that I have to share it with anyone before I return it. From there, our small talk started. I’m not the talking type, but this opportunity is so rare that I cannot refuse. Plus I need to rest a bit, for the sun has exhausted my energy going in here.

Mostly, it his him who’s talking. He is a good example of an experienced man, who is passing on his knowledge to the young ones. He is like an inspirational book talking to me live and face to face. He’s like giving me a lecture about life.

He told me about a short history of his library. He was an accountant and had his glorious days as a professional. In this profession there will be times that you have to make things up to survive the corporate world. And a time came when he became unhappy doing this. Then he found serving others in a different way through his books, that he found more fulfilling and he become happier.

He said, most of us are raised to give priority to ourselves. We often have knowledge, but we keep it to ourselves and not share them with others. We read a lot, but do not apply our learning in real life. Corporations we are working for have missions and visions documented but become meaningless in actual operations, because there are goals needed to be achieved. Those are few things I remembered. I wish to make it more engaging, but my mind was blank and incapable of asking back. He’s too intellectual being, I can smell and I may not be able to go in with stupid question. I tried to ask him where he would place his books during flood, and he said “your mind has to find answer for that”, wow! Okay, so I guess I have to prepare questions when I come back here. Of course I would come back; I have to return the books I borrowed and may be donate some.

The conversation become very serious, yet it’s very enjoyable. I like the idea of sharing for free. Free as in nothing in return is expected from you. You can actually own a book from here, just ask politely and be honest. I believe that kind of act and thinking attracts more blessings in life. I hope this will continue and more people will re-consider serving others in little or big ways.

P.S. No actual photos taken, I get shy. I don’t like to get the impression that I just want to tell something online. I want the experience and share them to the world.

David Levithan’s Every You, Every Me

Every You, Every Me\David Levithan\Contemporary, Young Adult\Knopf Books\September 13th 2011\245 pages

“I had gotten so used to being alone, but never entirely used to it. Never used to it enough to stop wanting the alternative.” 

If you are looking for a fast-paced, sci-fi, adventure, fantasy, or romance novel don’t read this book.

The story is about finding out who is the mysterious photographer who’s avenging Ariel. The past keeps haunting Evan, thinking he made the wrong decision, whether he truly helped Ariel or not. It’s a youth drama about suicide, friendship, and love.

“That whole week, we started to divide things into those two categories: anything or something. A piece of jewelry bought at a department store: anything. A piece of jewelry made by hand: something. A dollar: anything. A sand dollar: something. A gift certificate: anything. An IOU for two hours of star watching: something. A drunk kiss at a party: anything. A sober kiss alone in a park: something.” 

What I look for in a novel is something engaging that will make me holding on to the story chapter by chapter. This one definitely satisfies that wanting. It’s the collection of words, David has compiled that made me hold on to it. It’s readable and easily understandable. Though, the message is something deeper than the sugar coat meaning of the words and story as a whole. It will make you think if it ever hit that pumping thing inside you.

There's a lot of anticipations from me, while reading it. Like is Evan's the one haunting himself at all? Or Ariel's the one? In the end, it's not really a surprise but the climax is really interesting. Though the revelation become quite explosive, it didn't need much thinking.

“If you zoom close-if you get really close to someone, if you really get close to yourself-then you lose the other person, you lose yourself entirely. You get so close you can't see anything anymore.” 

It’s quite sad and boring really, when you’re expecting actions. It received an average rating in book reviews. Yet I still appreciate it. For emotional persons like me, words matter and story is second honor to my priorities.

“You don't know me. You know one me, just like I know one you. And you can't know every me, and I can't know every you.”